rapstars

So I'm sitting here in Luke's makeshift half kitchen, half building site playing host to tonight's cigarettes and bottles bottles bottles £3.73 sauvignon. I'm sitting here in a deck chair, chain round neck, the gare of the pendant laughing at my chest. We arrived to the place with nothing but party on our lips, through bottles bottles bottles of headaches we sip.
Our circle of heads slouch with every draft of green or swig of clear, until we're eventually staring at our toes, focusing on laces in quick persuit of sobriety. It hasn't come yet, im on the low of a high right now.

We're here for the long run, 10pm onwards, one day to another until im drunk enough to drive out of here. Get behind lights and wheel, ready to face the front door, eventually arriving at the end of bed where i will rest for weeks in sleepiness, in swallows to parents doubt. Maybe this is all we will get, the highlights of parties and twitching feet, stoking friendly fires until conversation catches light and the chemistry is set when our eyes meet. We're young, not old.

Im 20 in 1 day from from now and i feel 16



written here

01/01/09

it's the new year, time for resolutions

I will start the year like an empty photograph
because a year is not a year, unless it's scribbled on the back.
I will start the year with one foot inside a map
because a life is not lived without a compass and a bag.
I will start the year with nobody else but me
step into three six five how you wanted it to be.

resolution bad habits
resolution stop this
resolution just three words
of i will do or don't.

resolution weigh this much
resolution do not curse
resolution just three words
of i will do or don't.

I will start the year with somebody else's name
somebody else's clothes, somebody else's changes.
I will start the year like I've only got one shot
a body full of teen blood, but a head all filled with knots.
I will start the year with nobody else but me
step into three six five how you wanted it to be.


resolution family tree
resolution do not theif
resolution just three words
of i will do or don't.

resolution dyeing young
resolution call your son
resolution just three words
of i will do or don't.